Forging wedding bands, forging a new path together (Part Two)

Today’s Engaged in the D blog post is by Christopher Holt, who is engaged to Melissa Damaschke. Check out Part One here and read about their engagement story here.

Jewelry is delicate and precious. However, I’ve come to admire the brute force that goes into its making. It’s a bit like childbirth: there’s grunting, careful monitoring, blood, placenta, the force of contractions and labor, the smacking of a newborn bum, crying and all that, but in the end you have this precious delicate life. Minus the blood and a few other things there is an element of brutality in making jewelry.

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How do you think the ring gets that nice round shape? You hammer the sucker. You hammer it into that ring-like shape and hammer the ends as close together as possible. Did they get out of line with each other? Put the metal in the vice and tap the sides ’till they’re even with each other. Then repeat. Then you solder the ends together. Now this piece of metal that once looked like, well just a piece of tiny metal, is starting to look more and more like an actual ring. I’ve seen ultrasound images of fetuses in the womb and thought, “Ok. Where the hell is the baby?”  Not until later does the freakish cluster of cells become recognizably human.  Up to this point, one might ask, “Ok. Where the hell is the ring?”

We  now arrive at the point where Melissa took my ring-fetus and hammered it into a ring-baby.

Our Mistress of Metallurgy introduced us to this thick metal rod that was tapered to a point. It was a little shorter than my forearm. Using her demonstration ring, she slid it ‘round the tapered the end and wedged it a few inches onto the rod.  Ring sizes were engraved up and down this tool. She demonstrated what we had to do and Melissa was first.

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With the grace of a ballet dancer, the muscle of a valkyrie, and the focus of a laser-beam, Melissa hammered my ring into existence. She slid it off the rod and I slid it onto my finger. I shook my hand wildly to see if it would fall off. It flew across the store. This act was repeated about four times before the ring fit my finger comfortably.

Upon my turn, I raised the tool with my left hand and the hammer with my right.  Like the Greek god Hephaestus, I brought my hammer down upon the ring not once, not twice, but several times. Many, many times in fact.

Repeatedly.

Until finally, the gold and silver that were once divorced, were once again united in a perfect, perpetual circle, soldered together by the suave hunk that is marrying Melissa Damaschke.

We spent the next 10-20 minutes sanding and polishing the rings giving them a slightly grey finish. (Neither of us wanted anything too shiny or glossy).  Julie permitted us to use the photo set-up she has to take the picture you see here.  When all was said and done we were there for about five hours with a break for lunch.  We can’t thank Julie Sanford of Studio JSD enough for her patient guidance, talent, and encouragement.  If there are any couples considering doing such an activity together for their rings, we highly recommend doing it.

And we didn’t have to forge our rings in Mordor.

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Readers: What do you think of the idea of making rings for one another as an engaged couple? How would you design your own unique ring?

Forging wedding bands, forging a new path together (Part One)

This week’s Engaged in the D guest post is by Christopher Holt, who is engaged to Melissa Damaschke. Read about their engagement story here.

Part One

Melissa doesn’t have an engagement ring. Not because I’m a cheap jerk but because 1) She doesn’t wear much jewelry in the first place and 2) She takes issue with the diamond industry.

So, instead of buying wedding bands, we thought it’d be more meaningful and rewarding to make each other’s rings. Now, by “make” I don’t mean “have someone make it for us.” Rather, I make her wedding band and she makes mine. Melissa was quick to research our options and found the only place in Michigan that offers couples the opportunity to do just, which is Studio JSD located in Grand Haven.  Julie Sanford, owner of Studio JSD, was more than accommodating to our purpose. In fact, we were able to have the entire studio and her attention all to ourselves. Julie makes all kinds of jewelry and we can’t recommend her and her artwork enough. I shall call her our Mistress of Metallurgy.

Melissa’s ring carries a second layer of meaning. Her parents divorced when she was 13 thereby rendering their wedding rings moot. However, they had the forethought (or respect) to keep them. Melissa’s mom is remarried.  After her dad died a few years ago, Melissa took to wearing his wedding ring on occasion. While it’s not really her style, it still holds sentiment. Despite having each of her parents’ defunct wedding rings, she didn’t know what to do with them.  It wasn’t until the night before we left for Grand Haven that it occurred to her that she should melt them down and recast them into her own wedding ring.  She got the OK from her mom and brother (out of respect for their feelings) and the decision was made.

My ring would be cast from new material. Melissa would make mine and I would make hers. We agreed that the other would approve of the ring each step of the way so there would be no surprises.

Our Mistress of Metallurgy guided us step-by-step through the entire process. Given the fact that Melissa’s ring was to come from two existing pieces of jewelry, my tasks required a little more time, so the three of us started on the rings together. I admit I was uneasy about sawing the diamond off of my future mother-in-law’s gold wedding ring. However, as I was doing that, Melissa was busy removing/tapping/bending/hammering out the small stones that were epoxied into her dad’s silver ring. This put things into perspective and I proceeded with confidence.

Hammers and saws are fun but blow-torches are more fun.

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We took our turns melting the other’s metals into liquid form inside a crucible.  Melting-down metals is nothing new of course but if you have never altered the physical properties of a piece of metal before, you’re missing out.  Sure, there’d be soldering involved later on, but in this case we take something recognizable, admired, worn, and cherished, and reduce it to a scalding hot blister. At risk of sounding overdramatic:  these rings were on the fingers of two people figuratively inside a crucible.  And now, some twenty years later, these same rings are literally inside a crucible only to experience a very different outcome.  There’s something even more profound going on here.  Melissa hasn’t come out and said it directly, but there’s the clear suggestion of forging a new beginning; a way to acknowledge and learn from the past and how she can perceive herself and future decisions in relation to that. She is the sole owner of her destiny.

Melissa is my sweet, sweet, Nitzschean Übermensch. Or ÜberFrau.

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Melted into small tiny rods the size of pretzels a president might choke on while watching a football game, these metals lack all the glamour and emotion associated with their purpose. There is a mechanical device – not unlike a penny stretching machine – through which these tiny rods are cranked and thereby stretched.  We crank our metal rods through this device several times.  Sometimes, however, the rods resist our efforts and must be taken to be blowtorched. This does something to the atoms inside the metal that makes it easier to crank them through the machine.  When the metal is glowing red from the blowtorch, we pick-up the metal with tweezers and drop it into a bowl of cool water. This makes a sound not unlike the one you might imagine is produced when a portal to another dimension seizes shut.

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The anvil we used was not manufactured by the Acme Company, nor was it dropped on anyone’s head. It was satisfying, though, to lay the rod (or in my case, two rods) of metal and tap the texture into it.  Melissa is an environmentalist – a tree hugger. So, for my ring,  I asked her to create a texture similar to tree bark. She liked the idea so much, that that’s how I textured hers.  We used hammers designed for such work, carefully holding the metal in place and even more carefully not hammering our fingers.

Want to check out the rest of Chris & Melissa’s ring-making process and the beautiful end results? Part Two is coming next week!

Where one’s something old is another’s something new [Interview with The Wed Exchange]

Are you a bride (or groom) on a budget? Or a past bride (or groom) with many unused wedding items? Here’s a potential solution!

I was so excited to meet for breakfast last weekend with Lotoya Vongrechin, a co-founder of The Wed Exchange! The Wed Exchange is taking place on Saturday, April 13 in the Detroit area and the following day in Missouri. The Wed Exchange is “where her something old is a bride’s something new.” The event is an opportunity for past brides and brides-to-be to buy, sell, and exchange wedding items such as gowns, decor, bridesmaid dresses, and more.

I agree with Lotoya when she says: “We live in an environment where there are lots of DIY brides and brides on different budgets. There was nothing in Metro Detroit where brides on a budget could buy used wedding items!” She came up with The Wed Exchange in order to fill this void and is excited to launch the first events next weekend!

There are certainly many do-it-yourself brides (and grooms) out there who end up with many creative items that are used for a few hours on their wedding day but don’t have much use beyond that. If you have wedding items taking up space in your house or just want to do something with unused wedding items, consider selling some of your items at The Wed Exchange. Sign up by April 10 to sell your items. Lotoya suggests that you think about which items you are emotionally attached to, and which items you are not so attached to. Are you going to have a vow renewal? What will you want to wear your gown again? “Or do you want to make another bride’s day very special? That could be her something borrowed or old.”

brides against breast cancer

If you are a creative open-minded bride or groom, or simply trying to save some money (seriously, who isn’t??) on your wedding, the Wed Exchange will provide an opportunity for you to buy lightly used items at a lower price. Part of each ticket sale will go toward Brides Against Breast Cancer, and if you want the event planners to sell your items, your unsold items can be donated to charity. Ticket sales run until April 12.

The WED Exchange post card - detroit

 

The WED Exchange post card back - detroit

Lotoya is a wedding and event planner whose roots are actually in the automotive engineering industry! She started out by planning detailed trips for some of the Big Three companies and also helped plan several friends’ weddings and bridal showers. “Planning was really really always my first love. When you love something deeply in your core, you always get pulled back to it.” She started her event planning company in 2008.

“Most girls and women dream about their wedding. I have, definitely… and I just love weddings. I love the art of love. I think you should be able to create something you love, whether it’s large, small, or however you want to do it.” She encourages brides to go with their gut, even as they browse the multitude of wedding magazines and blogs. If you are getting overwhelmed, “always look within yourself and what you envision your wedding to be. You want to bring in your own personal style, not what everybody else is doing.”

She loves using Pinterest as a tool for creating a full wedding concept. When she sits down with a client, she gets to know the bride, groom, or parent, and develops a board of wedding images for feedback. After that discussion, she then recreates a similar vision from those images! Lotoya’s favorite moments of wedding planning are (1) the first look – when the couple first sees each other on their wedding day and (2) when the couple sees the transformed venue for the first time. “Both of those moments literally bring tears to my eyes!”

What used wedding items have you been thinking about buying or selling?